Go Wider, Not Deeper: Why Expanding Your Emotional Capacity is the Real Healing
As a therapist specializing in somatic therapy and nervous system regulation, I often hear clients say they feel stuck trying to “figure things out” — endlessly digging into past experiences, analyzing their feelings, and trying to get to the root of their pain. While self-awareness and reflection are important parts of healing, this approach can sometimes backfire, trapping us in our heads and leaving us overwhelmed.
Why Going Deeper Isn’t Always the Answer
The idea that healing means going deeper — that we must understand every root cause and work through every feeling — is common. But focusing solely on intellectualizing emotions and narratives often leads to a smaller emotional container, making it harder to tolerate complex feelings without becoming flooded or confused.
Healing is not just about thoughts and meaning. It’s about building capacity — the ability to hold a wide range of emotions and sensations in your body without shutting down or spiraling.
What Does It Mean to “Go Wider”?
“Going wider” means expanding your emotional capacity, the nervous system’s ability to hold more — sometimes even conflicting — emotions at the same time. Think of your emotional capacity like a container: when it’s small, even one intense emotion can feel overwhelming and spill over. But when your container is bigger, you can hold grief, joy, anger, and tenderness all at once — without them flooding you or blending into a confusing mess.
This expanded capacity is at the heart of somatic therapy and nervous system healing. It allows you to experience emotions fully and fluidly, without needing to suppress or overthink them.
Why Expanding Capacity Matters in Therapy
Developing more emotional capacity helps you move beyond just intellectual understanding. It creates space to feel your experience in your body and to move through emotions instead of getting stuck in thought loops.
With more capacity, you become better able to notice when you need to reflect and when you simply need to sit with and feel your emotions — a key skill in emotional regulation and resilience.
How to Start Going Wider
Practice somatic awareness: Pay attention to sensations in your body without trying to change them.
Use grounding techniques: Breath work, gentle movement, or touch can help you stay present with your feelings.
Allow contradictions: Let yourself hold opposing emotions simultaneously without judgment.
Build space: Remind yourself you don’t have to “fix” every feeling immediately — sometimes, just holding space is enough.
If you’re interested in learning more about how somatic therapy can help you expand your emotional capacity and regulate your nervous system, feel free to reach out to schedule a consultation.
